The bible often talks of our relationship with our Heavenly Father using affectionate terms: Abba, meaning Daddy; as lovers; bride and groom; sheep and shepherd. There are probably more, but all of these hint at a loving, intimate relationship. But, we often don’t experience a loving, intimate relationship. What can it look like? Well, for me, I took a look at the most intimate earthly relationship I had: my marriage. I then compared that with my relationship with my Bridegroom.
1) When Butch and I are separated for extended periods of time, I miss him dreadfully. He is constantly on my mind. As a result, I am often less productive and sleep less or not as well. I long for us to be together again. When he arrives home, no one has to convince me to spend some time with him. Every cell of my being cries out for time with him….exclusive time. I want some time that I don’t have to share with someone else, even our kids.
Do I miss my Heavenly Father when there seems to be extended periods of separation? Am I longing to be with Him again….exclusively? There was a time when I needed to be forced-by guilt usually-to spend time with Him. But, it doesn’t have to be that way…and it’s not any longer. It’s the separation that compels me to spend time with Him. Also, I so dislike the separation and distance, that I don’t want anything to come between us.
2) When you are in love, you want to serve the other; do things the other likes. I often do things for Butch, and he for me, that neither of us feel like doing, because we love the other. And, that’s good. But if everything I did for Him was motivated by duty and not love, if I never felt like it, something’s wrong with that picture. There’s no joy in serving in that manner continually. It doesn’t contribute to further intimacy. In fact, it can often leave Him feeling like he wishes I wouldn’t bother.
I believe this is what scripture is telling us when it repeatedly says that if you love, you will obey. It’s not in an attempt to prove or show that I love. But, rather, if I love by default I will obey. I will desire to obey, partly because that’s what you do when you’re in love and partly because you don’t want any separation. When my husband and I are experiencing closeness, I don’t want to do anything to mess that up. In the same way, when I am in a close relationship with Papa, I don’t want to do anything to mess that up.
And, this brings so much freedom. I’m not worried that if I fail Butch is going to beat me. Neither am I thinking that, “Oh well, I think I’ll go have an affair.” Yet often, when freedom is discussed, there is always the warning that people will just go out and sin. Resting in God’s love and mercy, confident in that, isn’t going to make me see how much I can do to violate His standards which come from His heart. I love Him….why would I flagrantly go against what He desires?
3) In a loving relationship, there is meaningful, 2-way discussion. Many people know I can talk a lot and probably wonder if my husband can get a word in edgewise, but he can and does. Our frequent discussions are strings tying our hearts together. I want his input on what I am thinking, reading and experiencing…and he wants mine. Our times of discussion are times of sharing each other’s hearts. It would be a sad relationship if only one of us talked, either because of selfishness on the part of the one, or reluctance on the part of one. And, it would be a fragile relationship if one or both of us failed to reveal our hearts.
Having a meaningful, 2-way discussion with the Lover of our souls is also vital. It ties strings. I want to listen to His heart and He wants me to share mine. As we talk, I learn His heart, which is the essence of praying according to His will. It’s frustrating when I do all the talking and no listening. Listening to Him during times of prayer is so special. Sometimes He tells me things that surprise me; sometimes He teases or jokes with me; sometimes He tells me how much He loves me; sometimes He reveals His will on something I’ve been praying about; sometimes He tells me my request has been answered and to trust Him.
4) In a loving, intimate relationship, there is “zing”. Even after 25 years of marriage, my heart flips when Butch winks at me from across the room. When he takes my hand, or puts his arm around me, it feels good; my heart skips a beat. And, this isn’t uncommon. Lacking this zing makes us realize we need to re-connect again. If I didn’t feel these things, it would still mean we’re married, but I’d do whatever I could to bring it back. Our marriage isn’t dependent on those feelings, but our relationship is validate. One can have marriage without a relationship.
So, can there be “zing” in our relationship with the Creator of the universe? Absolutely! The words to a song speak this well,
“Then heaven meets earth like an unforeseen kiss and my heart turns violently inside of my chest!”
I know what it feels like to have my heart turn violently because of an unexpected kiss from the man I love…or an expected one. And, now I know what it feels like for my heart to turn violently because of a heavenly kiss, expected or unexpected. Yes, a love relationship with the Creator of the universe can take your breath away! And you too can experience it!