Several months ago, I was involved in a discussion via Facebook messaging about recent developments that were encouraging to me, but not to the person with whom I was communicating. She made a wise comment to me about trusting those who have lived faithful lives among us. Unbeknownst to her, I had done just that in the situation we were discussing. At the onset of this situation, I had sought the opinion of someone whom I trust deeply, whose spirit of discernment is unequaled among anyone I know and that contributed greatly to my opinion on the matter of discussion. But, her comment was a valid one and were we all to heed it, misunderstandings and divisions would decrease, as would gossip.
Recently, a friend came to me because she had heard negative comments about something she knew I was passionately in favor of. She said she could have searched the Internet, but one can find any opinion they desire on the internet and decided that because she could trust me, she would seek my opinion. We were able to discuss it and she came to an understanding based on information from someone who knew about the topic and someone she trusted and cared about. I had noticed her hesitancy whenever I brought up the topic and wanted to understand that. So, our discussion brought about greater understanding for both of us, and a greater respect for each other and our relationship.
I, in turn, questioned her about something that she had done that I couldn’t believe because of what I believed about it. She affirmed my reaction/conviction and I understood more fully the reasoning for her action. And, through this discussion, rather than dividing us over 2 things that had that potential, we were able to affirm each other and our convictions. We were able to join together for each other rather than against each other.
But, that doesn’t happen often enough. We attend church with others who we have known most of our lives. When one of them gets involved in something we are not comfortable with, our first reaction is to find others who agree with us and seek out information on the internet, both of which do far more damage than good. If one were to try for 10 minutes, they could find articles filled with untruths and exaggerations that condemn anyone and any belief. Many of these articles are written by fellow believers. Yet, turn around and seek that information on someone or something else forgetting the lies they just read about things they themselves adhere to. Why? Why not just go to someone we have known and trusted all our lives, people who have lived faithful lives among us, and seek out greater understanding?
Having been guilty of doing this very thing in the past, I concede there are 2 reasons behind it(at least there were for me):
1) Cowardice. I simply didn’t have the courage to “confront” head on the person with whom I disagree. That’s saying a lot from someone who, in the past, thrived on confrontation. But, I admit, some people are far more intimidating to confront than others. It’s much simpler to arm myself through impersonal means….and far less threatening.
2) The goal is not greater understanding, but rather, reinforcement of our current belief. Most of the time, this is far too true of most of us. God is really dealing with this part of me. If we truly desire a greater understanding, we would talk with people with whom we disagree. We would seek information from people we know and trust rather than blindly trusting anyone capable of putting their opinion on the web. But, often, we don’t really want reconciliation or understanding, we want affirmation of our position. Our desire to be right supersedes our desire for relationship and growth.
Are you seeing something you don’t like and are very uncomfortable with? What has been your response? To seek out those who agree and reinforce each other? Or seek out those with whom disagree and gain greater understanding? Are you willing to talk with someone who knows about it and has a positive view of it? Or, will you continue to “learn about it” via an impersonal research with someone you don’t know or trust? Finally, remembering the admonition in Matthew 6, think for a moment how you want others to respond to you if they see something you believe passionately about but that they are uncomfortable with and/or have heard negative “reviews”. Are you responding in the same manner?
What, after all, is your goal when researching? Reinforcement of your position? Or, greater understanding of your brother/sister’s position?