We all recognize that offenses will come our way…..gossip is a sad reality in any community. Myriads of sermons have been preached on the evils of gossip and the strong rebuke for those through whom offenses come. Matthew 24 tells us that many will be offended….shall betray one another, shall hate one another…iniquity shall abound….the love of many shall wax cold. I don’t know about you, but I am not comfortable with the idea that my love could wax cold through something that is inevitable; that because of offenses I might betray or hate another. I must realize that my walk never depends upon another. So that means, that offenses need not hinder me in my walk. My walk with Jesus is completely my choice.
Whether or not we want to admit it, we choose to be offended…..it is not unavoidable. Offenses are inevitable….being offended is our choice. God has given us a new heart…a heart that cannot be offended….an “unoffendable” heart. This is not an option, nor a luxury. When offenses come our way, we are not helpless against them. We can walk away without being offended. When we allow an offense to remain, we are the ones who suffer serious spiritual consequences.
We have been encouraged to forgive offenders. But, I’m realizing more and more, that while forgiveness is absolutely critical, it must not be my only response to offenses. My response must be much more than that.
Offenses come through actions and words. When offense come through someone’s words, it is helpful to realize that nearly all the time, there is a nugget of truth to their words. If we ask Papa to help us discern that nugget in the midst the mud, we will be able to grow. It will become a stepping stone in our walk to become more like Christ. On the other hand, getting offended blinds our eyes to that stepping stone and it becomes just another missed opportunity.
On the rare occasion when there is no truth at all, our response will be the stepping stone. It is then that we have the awesome opportunity to learn to respond in a way that is Christlike. Also, if offenses come through actions, our reaction will indicate to us if there is an area in our lives that needs to be transformed into the image of Christ. We can allow it to hurt us….or see it as an investment in sensitivity towards others, or an opportunity extend grace.
But, keep in mind that these types of offenses also give us an excellent opportunity to become Christlike. We must remember how Christ responded. On the cross, He didn’t just forgive them….He asked that they be forgiven. He didn’t just release them from judgment….He asked God to release them from judgment!!! He didn’t just model turning the other cheek…..He modeled returning love for hate; kind words for vitriol; humility for arrogance; giving more when something is taken.
“It is not enough that we not react negatively; we must respond positively to those who come against us, just as Christ did.” Francis Frangipane, In Christ’s Image Training
The only way I can become more like Jesus is when those parts of me that are not like Him become exposed….and they are so often exposed through offenses!!
“There is no greater opportunity to become Christlike than in the midst of pain and injustice.” Francis Frangipane., In Christ’s Image Training
Is this not why we can rejoice when offenses and persecution comes our way? Why would I attempt to stop one of the main paths to learning to become Christlike??? I know that no matter what comes my way, I am in a win-win situation. Why would I willingly allow that situation to become a loss on both counts?
Gossip is one of the most effective weapons of the enemy through which comes many offenses. But, I cannot choose whether another wields that weapon. I can only choose whether or not that weapon inflicts serious damage. Gossip about me can flow liberally and never affect my heart. Think of gossip like a fire. A fire needs 3 things: fuel, a match, and oxygen. Now, the tongue is like the match….and I cannot dictate whether or not that match is struck. Even without the match, though, lightning can start a huge fire if there is enough fuel and oxygen. And, my friend, we provide the fuel and the oxygen. Remove those 2 elements and you will not have a fire!
The fuel is our own words, actions, weaknesses, etc. Now, just how do we remove the fuel? By walking in transparency and vulnerability. When I am open about myself, there is little fuel left for gossip. Part of the thrill of gossip is the secrecy of the information. And, I can walk in transparency and vulnerability not when people make me feel safe….but when I realize I am protected by my Heavenly Father!! I am always safe!! There is no danger that can befall me…no one can pluck me out of His hand….He is my Refuge.
The oxygen is our need for the acceptance and approval of men. When I no longer need man’s approval, gossip is fire gasping for breath….it has little oxygen…and thereby little power to burn me. When gossip is denied of its fuel(through transparency and vulnerability) and devoid of oxygen(the need for man’s acceptance), it ceases to rend our hearts…..and our churches. Oh, it may still occur….the matches may still be struck….lightning also may strike…..but the damage is minimal because we have removed 2 of the elements necessary for its survival.
Have you had some offenses come your way lately? Are you the topic of gossip that is swirling out of control?
Respond, don’t react. It is just another stepping stone to becoming more Christlike.
Reveal your inadequacies. Allow yourself to be transparent. People don’t spread information that everybody already knows.
Revel in God’s unconditional acceptance and approval. When you have experienced reveling in His pleasure….the desire for man’s approval vanishes!
Rest knowing that you are safe in Papa’s arms. No one can harm you!
Rejoice. You are in a win-win situation!