Many times, transitions are trickiest part of life and many other things as well. A handoff from quarterback to a running back; the passing of baton from one relay member to another; a farm passing from father to son; a business that is bought by another. All these involve transitions that can make or break the outcome. Football drives have stalled because of faulty handoffs. Relay teams have lost the race because of mistakes when passing the baton. Families have disintegrated as one generation passes a farm, or business, to the next. Businesses have failed to meet needs of customers, and subsequently have lost revenue, due to difficulties during the trading of owners. Football teams and relay teams both spend huge amounts of practice time on the handoff. Businesses spend months preparing for the transition to another owner. Families plan for years for the eventual transfer to the next generation.
Changing congregations or church homes often is a difficult transition….and one that should be taken with care and planning….and huge amounts of prayer. It is far too easy to simply leave quietly. But that carries with it the same dangers of a relay runner trying to hand off a baton when the receiving runner is unaware. There’s a fumbling that goes on as the baton is passed that can be costly. It is so much better for the congregation that is losing a member to know and be a part of the transition…and for the receiving congregation to be aware as well. Both congregations can bless and be blessed. It increases trust between both churches. It takes away from feelings of competition. The relay member passing the baton must trust the ability of the receiving member, and must realize he is not a one-man show. Churches as well, must realize we are simply part of a bigger Church when we “lose” or “gain” members. We are not the only way to God. There are times when believers are at a different place and God asks them to move. There are times He simply needs the gifts of one or several of His children to be used elsewhere. Trust in each other and working together ensures a smooth passing of the baton and, as a result, it won’t be as costly.
There are times in a football game that as the quarterback takes the snap and steps away from the line, he trips on the feet of the center. As a result, the handoff is often doomed from the beginning. This is what happens when we leave one congregation without resolving the differences that precipitated and contributed to the decision to leave. When I am frustrated and leave a church, I take with me all that anger, bitterness and resentment. It’s all baggage I bring into my next congregation and it then infects them. 50% of that problem relationship is me…..and I’m going with me. Chances are good that I will experience the same frustrations soon after the honeymoon period is over. There is absolutely no relationship fracture that is 100% the fault of one. Each member of that relationship has some amount of culpability. If I resist or ignore the need to confess my part, I am simply taking my flesh with me and will encounter the same thing wherever I go. It is imperative that any differences are resolved before leaving, or in the process. Otherwise, it will infect the next congregation. And just like a quarterback tripping over the center, it’s a transition that is doomed from the beginning.
In each of these scenarios, one is holding firmly as the next gains a good grip. If the first does not have a firm grasp, the one receiving will be less apt to get a firm grasp. It is so much better if we have a firm grasp on the congregation we are leaving. It’ll make it easier to get a firm grasp on the next one.
In gymnastics, though, one must release their grip and hang suspended for moments before grasping the next bar. Those are tricky transitions for other reasons. If one could videotape a gymnast releasing from one of the uneven bars, doing various moves, then grabbing the next uneven bar….and then slow it down incredibly slow….one could imagine the feeling of apprehension. She has no firm grip on anything but air. Did she release her grip on the first bar at the right time? Will she complete her necessary moves before she needs to grab the next bar?
There are times when some of life’s transitions involved us releasing the grip we have before gaining a firm grip on the next. And, sometimes, there is a space of time between the release and the grab. Unfortunately, in life, we can’t speed up the time like we could speed up the video recording. Early in this process for us, we both at different times felt that we wished we could speed up the process. While it is nice to be loved at two places and to know we are missed when we’re not there, we don’t like this feeling of “betweenness”….having released our grip on one congregation and not taken a firm grasp on the next…..feeling a little bit like a visitor at both places….feeling a certain sense of belonging, yet not feeling like we belong….wanting to serve but not really having a place to serve. Did we release at the right time…..in the right way? All that God has been teaching us…..did we execute it? Will we complete all that God has for us before we need to grasp the next bar? But, we also both keenly felt that this is an opportunity….and one that we did not want to waste. An opportunity to learn all that God has for us in this interim time. An opportunity to become more like Christ. An opportunity to pass a test for which we had been studying and preparing. Not that we were preparing to leave for a while…but preparing to do all that God requested of us….in the way in which He desired. When we had no intention of leaving, we had read a study from a friend on protocols he implements when sheep leave or enter his flock….and now we were put to the test that we were unaware that we would have so soon after reading the material.
While life’s transitions are difficult, relationship transitions are the most difficult. They have the most potential to cause eternal damage….or eternal good. It has huge potential to bring restoration…..or destruction. It can be a time of deep soul-searching as we look for our blindspots and allow Him to bring needed sight….or insight. Like so many other difficult times, relationship transitions are wonderful opportunities to allow Him to work things in us that He couldn’t otherwise. Embrace Him….and then you’ll have the necessary wisdom and courage to embrace the transitions.