One of the most selfish questions recorded in Scripture is, “Am I my brother’s keeper?” It was asked, not for greater understanding, but to be released from any responsibility of caring for the welfare of another. It continues to be asked rhetorically for generations though it takes various forms. Consider the following scenarios which are fiction, but could very well be true.
She woke in the morning with a pounding headache completely unaware of how she got home. She raised her weary form from the bed and plodded to the bathroom. As she gazed into the bloodshot eyes that stared back at her from the mirror, she wept….and the guilt washed over her. “How did this happen? Why did she give in?” She had been 4 1/2 months without a drink. Now, all that was wasted….because of one evening with friends. The evening had been so enjoyable. She really needed that time with her closest friends. The past month had been so difficult. Relationship problems; frustrations at work; kids getting on her nerves. But, the hardest part was resisting the pull of the bottle. There was a time when life’s difficulties hit hard, that the bottle was her only escape. But, she’d decided-for the umpteenth time-that she was done drinking. But, these last few weeks took the remaining strength she had. That was why the evening was so important to her. She was hoping to be refreshed, encouraged and strengthened. Then, one friend decided to order an after-dinner wine. As she watched the waitress place that glass on the table, and her friend so nonchalantly lift it to her lips, all her reserve dissipated. As her thoughts came back to this morning, she wondered how she could face her husband of 10 years, and 3 children under 7 and see the disappointment in their eyes. “I can’t do this. I will never break this addiction.”
That one friend who went to dinner with her last night? She was a sister in Christ who had freedom to indulge in an occasional glass of wine. She had several times stated that for her, drinking was ok. “After all, I’m not an alcoholic. If someone else is, they should stay away from it. But, I’m don’t need to.” Am I my brother’s keeper?
The young man sat hunched over, eyes swollen and red from several hours of weeping. He had just taken a hammer to his phone, breaking it into pieces and completely destroyed his laptop. Both of these represented to him the doorway through which he had willingly, yet blindly, entered. He was on the cusp of adulthood….yet ensnared by an addiction from which he could not break free. An addiction that filled him with shame, guilt and self-loathing: internet porn. Oh, it wasn’t that he hadn’t tried. He had tried numerous times to break this addiction. He’d read books; prayed; studied his bible and more. And, he’d experience a month or two of complete victory, or so it seemed. Then, he’d give in….just a little bit, mind you. But, it once again wrapped its tentacles around his heart, soul and mind and held tight. And each time, the shame, guilt and self-loathing grew. Words echoed in his mind that he often heard, “You’ll struggle with this the rest of your life.” Then, “Why try?”, he wondered.
Some young men in that situation quit struggling. They begin to act out their fantasies as their addiction grows for harder and more thrilling porn. Some quit life. Most learn to hide it well. A few find true victory, but they are few and far between. Every church service is a rage of emotions. Guilt….shame…hypocrisy….anger…..and always that self-loathing. A recovering alcoholic can avoid places that serve alcohol; a recovering drug addict can safely go to his church, confident that he will not be offered drugs. But, take this young man to most churches, he will not find a haven, a place where he can relax and not need to fight this battle.
Next to him in the pew is a young lady who has no idea what he is going through…no clue that she is helping the enemy bring down her brother. But, she’s of the mindset that she should be able to wear whatever she wants and he needs to keep his eyes to himself. Am I my brother’s keeper?
Am I my brother’s keeper? Absolutely! What does that mean? Well, it doesn’t mean I remind him of his failures and weaknesses….nor the freedom I have. It doesn’t mean I stand in judgment each time victory slips through his fingers. It means that I stand with him, celebrating every success and weeping with him through every failure. It means that I wholeheartedly believe he WILL see victory someday, not worrying that I might appear foolish to others. And, it means I willingly, joyfully lay aside my own freedom so as not to place ANY stumbling block in his path toward victory.
Am I my brother’s keeper? What form is that question taking in my life? Is it my fault that he falls? No, but am I willing to help him up and do what I can to not trip him? What about freedom in Christ?? Does that mean I never have another drink? Maybe….maybe not. Is it worth it to help my brother/sister achieve victory over drink? Does it mean I wear cape dresses? Probably not that extreme, but am I willing to carefully choose my wardrobe, seeing myself and my attire through my brother’s eyes? Is it worth it so my brother can have one safe place to go where he won’t be bombarded with eye candy? Is it worth it for me to surrender the freedoms I have….so my brother/sister can escape the bondage they are in? Is my brother’s victory more precious to me than my freedom?
“But beware lest somehow this liberty of yours become a stumbling block to those who are weak.” 1 Cor. 8:9
I have a strong suspicion that on that day we stand before God together, and we look over at our brother, we will be joyful that we chose to give up earthly things. Together, on that day, we will cross the finish line strong, raise our fists as one, and shout, “YES!! WE did it!” And, may he look at me, and I at him, both saying to the other, “I never could have made it without you.”
Yes, I am my brother’s keeper!