He was born in 1939 to a powerful, domineering woman in her third marriage. His was a life filled with handicaps and disadvantages. His father died before he was born. His mother found it difficult to love anyone. Because of this and the long hours she worked, he was given no affection….no love…no discipline during his early years. Other children ignored him…he was rejected from his early childhood.. He was ugly, poor, untrained and unlovable.
During his adolescence, girls had nothing to do with him. He fought with the boys. Even though he had a high IQ, he failed academically and soon dropped out of school. He entered the Marines in 1956 only to be ridiculed and laughed at again. He fought back, resisted authority and was discharged in 1959.
So, he moved to the Soviet Union. He was once again rejected. While there, he married and moved back to the United States with his bride. But, his wife soon developed the same contempt for him that others had. He never received the respect that many fathers and husbands enjoy. Instead of being his fiercest ally, she became his most vicious opponent. She bullied him…locked him in the bathroom…finally forcing him to leave. He tried to make it on his own….but couldn’t.
After days of solitude, he went home and literally begged his wife to take him back. He crawled…he surrendered all pride and accepted humiliation. Despite his meager salary, he offered her $78. She laughed at him….belittled him….in front of friends. She ridiculed his failures. At one point, he fell on his knees and wept.
But, finally….in silence…he pleaded no more.
No one wanted him…no one ever had.
He was perhaps the most rejected man of our time.
His ego was shattered in the dust.
But, the next day, he had changed. He rose, went to his garage and took down a rifle he had hidden. He carried it to a book storage building where he worked. From the third floor of that building, shortly after noon on November 22, 1963, he sent two shells crashing into the head of President John F. Kennedy.
Lee Harvey Oswald, the rejected, unlovable failure killed the man who-more than anyone else-had all the success, beauty, wealth, and family affection which he lacked. In firing that rifle, he utilized the one skill he had learned in his entire, miserable lifetime.
We often ask why. We don’t understand how normal people could do such a thing. It would help to know the story behind the story….to remember that wounded people wound others. We have the only answer for those wounds….we must reach out to the wounded…even those who are crouched to attack. We must bring healing so that the cycle of wounding can stop. While we weep for those who lose loved ones in the midst of senseless tragedies, let us weep for the tormented souls capable of executing such a tragedies. While we grieve for their loss, let us remember that often the one who has destroyed has himself been destroyed. While we ache for the healing that survivors must seek, let us ache for the healing that was withheld from the wounded killer. Above all, we must remember who the true enemy is….and it’s not the one we can see with our natural eyes!!
I’m not sure why my reaction to this most recent tragedy has been so different than my usual one. Maybe it’s because God is birthing within me a desire to minister to those who have been shattered….to bring His love to the most unlovable….to bring His healing to the broken….to accept those who have been rejected by family, friends, society…and even the church. But, whatever the reason, my heart has ached as much for the young man, barely out of his teens, who may have been so terribly wounded by life as to choose this course. I cringe at the names he has been given: idiot, sadistic, monster, etc. I do not want to forget his name: Adam Lanza…because he represents the thousands of broken people who are to me, not as some suppose, simply idiots wanting to replicate Adam’s action so as to be in the spotlight….but wounded souls who act out of their woundedness……wounded people who need the healing that only Jesus can bring….wounded people who are coming into contact with the body of Christ, but not always seeing Him.
That prostitute who brazenly displays her body…..she may have been raped before she was school-age, destroying the fabric of who she believes herself to be and has given up hope that life can be any different. That young man, dressed in Gothic black, with numerous piercings, that we are so quick to keep from our children….may have been taunted by mother, father, siblings and friends and is longing for acceptance from someone….anyone. That woman who has had her 4th abortion….she may be a hurting young lady used and abused by every man she has known. She sees herself as trash, why not the child she carries? That cocky gay man demanding his rights…..may have been a little boy assaulted in the school bathroom. Now he’s confused and trying to convince himself that this is who he is.
And every one of them may have walked into a church seeking love and acceptance and were judged for their actions…..their dress….their past…..told that God doesn’t love sinners. I know of people who have been ostracized in churches because some don’t want “their kind” inside their doors…..people who remain on the fringes because so many in the church feel creepy around them….people who can spend several years in a church and only develop 1 or 2 relationships. I’ve talked with people who have been assaulted by believers’ judgment….who have had scriptures hurled at them like stones…..who have been told God hates them….who believe God is with their accusers…that He is shaking His finger at them in disappointment. This is not how Jesus treated sinners and outcasts. But sadly, sometimes that’s the Jesus they see in us.
I’m not suggesting some flaky Freudian version of the gospel. I know that each of us is responsible for our own actions. But, many times those actions are the result of wounds that we cannot see. Our judgment does not heal…..our compassion will. We weep for the little girl crying into her pillow after being raped for the umpteenth time…..but we stop weeping when that little girl hardens into a street-smart prostitute. We reach out to that 12 year old boy taunted by everyone he knows….but we push him away 5 years later when his appearance disturbs us. We need to recognize brokenness, no matter how cleverly disguised it may be. We need to apply salve to wounds no matter how repulsive they may look.
Broken people need Jesus. That young man who pulled the trigger at close range on a 6 year old…..he needed Jesus. While we take hope in the fact that his victim is waking up in heaven, beholding Jesus….how do we feel when we realize that he himself woke up in hell beholding the tormentor? God loves them both….can we? Jesus laid down his life for him as well as his victims….can we? Jesus died for the prostitute….the homosexual….the Gothic young man…and on…and on….and on. He didn’t just die for people who look like us. He loved those who so often disgust us.
Broken people will enter our doors….how will we respond? Loving the victims is natural…..loving the perpetrator is super-natural. Grieving with those who have lost innocent young lives is normal….atheists can do that. Grieving for the young man who felt this was his answer calls us to higher than normal…..only the Christlike can do that. It’s easy for us to embrace someone who looks like us….or someone who appears to be hurting. But, to embrace those who are so hardened by sin and wounds as to appear cocky and defiant….that’s more difficult. We must try to look beneath the hardened exteriors into the heart….look past the anger and see the hurt. Basically, we need to stop regarding others according to the flesh….we need to see them according to the Spirit within us…..with grace-filled eyes.
Broken people will enter our doors….will we offer grace….or judgment? Will we show compassion…..or hostility? Will we draw close to them in love…..or withdraw with uneasiness? Will we welcome them into our families……or stiff-arm them because we don’t want them influencing our kids? Will we demand they clean up…..or accept them as they are? Will we view them as real people in need of Jesus…..or just projects that we can convert? Will we show genuine interest in who they are and what’s inside rather than telling them what they need to do differently? Will we push past our initial feeling of uneasiness and establish a relationship?
Broken people will enter our doors….these are the very people who were attracted to Jesus…..will they be attracted to His followers?
When the world looked at Lee Harvey Oswald, they saw a loser who killed their beloved President. What do we see? When the world looks at Adam Lanza, they see a sadistic monster capable of incomprehensible horror, only desiring his moment in the spotlight. What do we see? And if the next Oswald or Lanza walks through our doors, will he see in us the love and acceptance he has been craving? Will he find the answer to his cries? It is possible that if he does…..a tragedy will be prevented.