Some time ago, I picked up a book entitled Uncensored Grace. It was about the evidence of grace of God in the most unlikely places….stories of God’s grace poured out in abundance in lives that are devoid of exposure to it. The first story raised some concerns and questions for me. It was about a couple who were both involved in the porn industry. They were both adult entertainers for separate shows. God reached into their world and wooed them. They responded to His call, accepted His grace and yielded their lives to them. Their story was amazing, but….they both remained in their chosen career. They did wrestle with it, but remained for a time. I took a couple steps back mentally. Uncensored grace? Really? Or, cheapened grace?
A few months later, I read an article about a young actress who was talking with excitement about her faith, her church, even the gift of tongues. A famous person who is not an athlete or politician….from Hollywood, no less…talking of spiritual things, even seeming to possess a gift of the Holy Spirit? Sounds wonderful, doesn’t it? But, there was one glaring problem that again, caused me to take a few steps back and groan with dismay. She is a well known sex symbol. She often poses in the nude or scantily clad and doesn’t seem to have a problem with it. No, it’s not part of her sordid past that has been redeemed. It is part of her present life. I can’t put these two professions together: porn and following Christ. Grace? Or, no?
At one time, I would have quickly, without question, declared it impossible for any of these to be saved. The two professions were diametrically opposed to one another…they were oxymoronic. But, now…having been saved for about 40 years and recognizing my own sinfulness…the attitudes that I accepted….the actions I thought fine….normal….inevitable….desirable, even….I’m a bit more hesitant to make that same declaration with any confidence. At one time in the not too distant past, I was an angry, critical, judgmental Christian. I confess, it was not unusual for me to spend a Sunday morning talking with teens about following God and giving Him their all and, later in the day, be yelling in anger at one of my own teens. I could, at one moment, be worshiping with abandon, expressing my love and devotion to my Lord….and the next moment be critical and bitter at one of His children. I’m not talking about slipping…I’m talking about a continual behavior or heart attitude. It wasn’t that I got angry occasionally….I stayed angry. It constantly simmered beneath the surface waiting for an outlet. It wasn’t that I had a righteous indignation, or a quick judgment….I was critical of anyone whose version of Christianity didn’t look like mine. Angry….critical….judgmental….do they fit within the parameters of an acceptable Christian life? Or, are they also, diametrically opposed to each other? And, if so, was I truly saved?
Most Christian communities have one or several gossips. Slander flows readily from their lips. No, I’m not talking about an occasional slip of the tongue, but those who feel it their duty to inform others…who gather in groups or with like-minded individuals to discuss the latest alleged error or mistake….often in the form of a concern or a warning. Relationships have been harmed and people wounded as a result. Do these actions fit within the parameters of an acceptable Christian life? Or, is this a behavior that is diametrically opposed to the heart of Christianity? And, if so, are these people really saved?
We are quick to assert that those who continue to practice a certain behavior cannot have had a real salvation experience….as long as that behavior is not something we are prone to or have grown accustomed to seeing. We are saddened and disappointed when we see certain lifestyles among those who claim to be believers, yet accept other lifestyles among us that are just as opposite the Father’s will and heart.
Is it possible that we only question the salvation of those whose sins we find repulsive?
Is it possible that we rate sins so that the ones with which we struggle don’t cause us or anyone else to question our sincerity as a believer?
Is it possible that we find some sins acceptable for those who claim the name of Christ and some that are unacceptable?
And, is it just coincidence that the unacceptable ones are those that hold no sway over us while those sins that control us are somehow more acceptable?
I am realizing more and more that an angry, critical, judgmental person who is always ready to defend herself or prove another wrong is just as contrary to the nature of God as a porn star. Slander and gossip violate His word just as much as stripping and pole dancing. In the eyes of a Holy God, is not one just as repulsive as the other? Is our own holiness closer to that of those we are accusing…or to that of God? I am not being light on sin or cheapening grace. I’m questioning whether or not we are as guilty of cheapening grace by the behaviors and attitudes we accept in ourselves. Are we not light on sin by allowing these things to continue unhindered?
Holiness must start with me. There are still days when everything in me wants to prove to someone their accusation against me was unjust and hurtful. Soon, an argument with that person is going on unhindered in my mind. I find anger, which has been conquered, rising up again and I want to scream and lash out. So, how can I then point a finger at another person wishing their actions would line up with their words?
Holiness must start with us. We must be holy as He is holy. We must rid our own lives and hearts of all that is within us that is not like Jesus. When we are cleansed of all that violates His nature, we can then begin to cleanse the world. But, I have a suspicion there won’t be a need for it then. Society is often a reflection of the church.
I am a daughter of the Almighty God. I am righteous because He is righteous. I am a saint because He has made me one. My identity is in Him. An angry, critical, judgmental Christian is just as much an oxymoron as a Christian stripper. The life that I now live is Christ living in me. Jesus would be just as unlikely engage in slandering another person as He would in pornographic acts. He has given me a new nature….His nature. Everything…..absolutely everything in me that is contrary to His nature is opposed to the identity I claim….be it anger or porn….slander or sexual promiscuity.